Life seems but a quick succession of busy nothings. – Mansfield Park.
I’m hoping that this post can serve as an explanation of sorts for my sporadic nature of my postings lately…
Yes. I have infant twins. Yes. I have two older children. Yes. I’m constantly running to the school bus stop, tracking doctors appointments and attempting to keep a floor clean for two little gremlins who have decided to start exploring their surroundings… But for me that’s no excuse.
Writing here, for me, has been a combination of a few things –
To start – it’s my opportunity to reflect.
When you are in the thick of something, it’s only when you take a step back that you can really see the big picture.
For anyone who’s ever written in a journal, it is the perfect outlet to “take a step back”. To read over your thoughts is like experiencing them from a distance.
Through this blog, I’ve been able to step out of the chaos – see how truly blessed I am, appreciate how good I have it – and realize I would never want to change a thing.
More than that – it’s served as a connection to my friends and family.
Any stay-at-home parent can attest to it, being home with your kids all day can be pretty isolating. You crave adult conversation… you may not even realize how much. Caleb will come home from work and the first thing I want to do is relay my whole day to him… Which may or may not be the last thing he would like to be doing at the end of a long work day.
I can see now why Facebook is such a hit with moms – a connection to the outside world.
Being far away from close friends and family adds to those nostalgic feelings of isolation. Writing here, I imagine all those people I care about, so far away, sitting at their computers and reading my words. A huge comfort – helping me feel connected to all of you at once, I hope it helps you to feel as connected to us.
You need to know – every single time any one of you lets me know you are reading along, my heart feels like it could burst. It makes this so much more fulfilling, so much more important.
One more – this blog serves as a personal historical record. My day to day is an absolute blur… By the end of the day I could not even tell you how the day began… Each day running into the next – each week passing unbelievably fast. To be able to write it all down – I know I’m leaving behind a memory… Something to look back on in the future to bring me back to this very moment – the closest I’ll ever come to being able to relive it – which, admit, there are days we’d all love to relive over and over.
Ok. You can see now how much writing this blog means to me. So what gives?
I have maxed out the capacity on my computer and it has decided it no longer likes me. I’m in the process of figuring it out……… Wish me luck.
In the meantime – I’ll be posting from the comfort of my smartphone. Oy.