Feeling Guilty

Run mad as often as you choose; but do not faint. – Love and Friendship novella.

My husband came home from work one day last week to find me in my glory; writing on this blog. He glanced around and happened to notice the neglected dishes, unswept floors and …worst of all… my unkempt hair. I noticed him noticing and instantly felt guilty, expecting and feeling deserving of the third degree. What did I get instead? A smile. I attempted to apologize for the state of things, he stopped me. We started talking about the blog. Caleb confessed that at first, he thought I was crazy for starting this – a time suck, something to add to an already full plate. Then, he thought about me. And knowing me the way he does, he realized how much I really need this. He went as far to say, and I quote, “It’s keeping you sane.” I realized, he was right.

I am a mother in the generation of helicopter parents, overscheduled children, and two-income families. There is this societal pressure put on us to do it all; not only to BE perfect, but to be SEEN as perfect. An impossible task. The funny thing is, we know this societal pressure exists and yet we accept it. Why? We are choosing to run mad! We want to be accepted by others, so we strive to meet this standard… but striving to meet this standard only makes us unhappy because we will never achieve it.

And what becomes of these unhappy mothers who can’t seem to achieve the impossible standard society sets for them? They faint.

Something we can do for ourselves, for our kids, for our marriage — stop CHOOSING to run mad. There is so much out there that is PUSHING us into madness… why make it any easier?Β Β 

Let’s sit down and think about what’s really important.

Feeling guilty for not accomplishing what I thought Caleb would have expected from me, what I have pressured myself into expecting — I’m giving in to that societal pressure. This blog – my sanity – is my way of avoiding the faint, my way of reflecting on what’s really important, a reminder to PUSH BACK the other way.

Thank you for reading – from the bottom of my heart – I am humbled and delighted to have you with me as I try to figure out how to keep myself, my kids, my husband, all from running mad.

IMG_3240.JPG

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s